Moving With Kids

Have you moved recently? I’m telling you — it is no joke.

I would love to say that I am so chill, so laid back, so “go with the flow,” but that would be a lie. I can be a bit TYPE A, and never more so than when it comes to the state of my home. This made our recent move with younger kids uniquely challenging. This is a recap of what I’ve learned, and I sincerely hope it helps someone out there on the brink or in the midst of a move.

Packing/Unpacking

If you have a kid, then you have stuff. And oh, the toys! We had the luxury of packing early, so we packed the toys up in tiers. Starting with the least favorites a few weeks ahead of time, we were able to get the lion’s share squared away before “go time.” Right before moving day, we packed up the favorites. Our girls didn’t miss the second-tier toys during the weeks leading up to the move, and they still had their old, reliable favorites (both for comfort and for playtime) right up until it was time to pack up and head out.

Packing can be a great way to help kids process the move. We enlisted the help of our nine-year-old and challenged her to part ways with anything that could be passed on to another family. Our toddler wanted to “help” too, so I gave her a handful of stuffed animals and a small box with a lid to practice packing and unpacking. It wasn’t helpful per se, but what toddler parent isn’t desperate for a diversion?

A day or two before moving day, we packed a suitcase as if we were going on vacation for a week, even though we were just moving across town. Our suitcase included all the clothing, accessories, and toiletries our kids (and we!) would need while we settled in to the new spot. That first few days in a new place is challenging, and the last thing I needed was to be searching through multiple boxes looking for clean socks and a puppy dog lunch box. (NOT the unicorn lunchbox!)

I made sure our kids’ stuff was clearly labeled and that it was delivered to their new rooms immediately upon arrival. In fact, these were the first boxes we move and we gave our older daughter full reign on setting up her new room. This gave us a little uninterrupted time to unpack/organize and gave her an opportunity to begin to feel at home in a new place. For several days, her room was the only one really “set up”, and it was a really nice retreat for her in an otherwise chaotic house.

Emotional Preparation

If your kid(s) have not been a part of the house hunting process, you will need to decide when to show them the new place. Some people like to wait for their offer to be accepted. We opted to wait until after the inspection contingency was satisfied and our move was more of a “sure thing.” We knew our nine-year-old would have some strong feelings about moving, and we wanted to avoid getting her all worked up over nothing.

When we did tell her, she cried. A lot.

I gave her a shoulder to cry on and some time/space to express her emotions. The truth is this: her anger/sadness/distress came from her love for our current home and was directly correlated to the joy she experienced living there. Can you blame her?

After a few minutes, she started to calm down and we asked her if she wanted to see some photos online. The photos helped! It also helped that we had plans of taking her to see the home the next day. Once she saw her new room, she was fully invested in the move.

On moving day, we took a few minutes to remind our daughter (and ourselves!) that feeling sad can be a good thing -- it means we loved our lives in that home. We said goodbye to our old house (with equal parts joy and sorrow), and doing so created room in our hearts for our new place. Don’t be afraid to say goodbye, even if it’s going to get everyone a little teary-eyed. Honestly, I cry a little every time we move.

Making a New House Feel Like “Home”

An empty house is not very cozy, but it affords the rare opportunity to have a little fun before all of the furniture finds a place. Our kids love open spaces, and giving them a chance to enjoy those open spaces before we were all settled gave them an opportunity to establish some new, wholesome memories in our new place. These were our favorite open space activities:

• Building a fort with some of the empty boxes

• Epic living room dance party

• Riding trikes in the house

Night #1 can be tough. We opted for a family slumber party. The novelty made the whole experience of sleeping in a new place a positive experience. The feeling of a “fun adventure!” trumps rocky beginnings any day. Plus, new house noises are creepy — no one wants to sleep alone the first night.

Take Care of You

Don’t forget to put on your own oxygen mask first. I had to (and continually have to)  pause and remember to take care of myself and do what I needed to do to keep my headspace healthy. Your own inner peace is the best way to help kids feel safe during times of transition.

If I were to boil all of this down into one piece of advice, I would say…embrace the chaos. Moving is crazy; moving is stressful. It will feel better in a few weeks, and in a few months, you will be back to business as usual. Give it time and be patient with yourself and others. What tips do you have for moving with kids? (Besides, don’t do it! Ha!)